Meat Lovers

If you ever want to prove to a date that you are serious, take them to an Italian Restaurant. 

A real one.  Not p***a shack or even Scrolla la Pasta (which I highly recommend if you do need a quickie), but one that requires a reservation and has a wine list.  If you want to impress a date, do it right.

Of course, a date should be impressed by any good food, which is why I wasn’t hesitant to take my date the other night to a new place.  (That’s right, your boy had a date; cue the giggles; I won’t answer any questions you should comment below).

Bella Luna Uptown (there is no Bella Luna Downtown, so the name at first confused me) was thus the place I picked to take my date.

The hostess (though, if you want to freak out your French friends, of which I’m sure we all have many, call them a maître d’ and leave them stressing over where the rest of the word went for hours) attended to us quickly and even let us store our bags, a plus if you’re coming from a busy day on the town or traveling or are loaded down after a long day at work.

My first impression was that it was too dark to see my date properly.  The green walls and low candlelight were surely chosen to set the mood, but I had to ask my date to sit closer just so I could see them!  (Perhaps I should thank the restaurant, then, for their decor providing for such a perfect excuse!)

Our servers were pleasant and quick, though I was a little disappointed with the wine selection.  I thought there would be more to choose from, but as my date was not a big wine drinker, we were happy with our selection.  I am not a wine snob, and one should never try to be one on a first date, anyway.

Still, I couldn’t help but show off my superior knowledge to my date once our food arrived.  I selected eight dishes to try but avoided any appetizers (though their version of pizza fries was calling my name), and we did not have dessert there (my date took me somewhere after and bought me ice cream, a perfect cool treat to end the evening!).  As a “fancy” place, the dishes ranged from $14-30 dollars, so I started with the most expensive dish, the Pan Seared Salmon.  Salmon is a good dish to test a restaurant with, as the fish is so easy to overcook and underseason.  With such a “salmon” taste, many chefs believe the fish should be allowed to shine on its own, but here the capers overpowered the dish.  It was too salty and bitter for me.

The other fish dish I tried was the Shrimp and Crab Ravioli, because ravioli screams fancy child to me.  I wanted to lick the garlic white sauce out of the bowl it was so delicious, but a creamy substance on my face in public might have been too risque for my date (who seems so shy at times and then so bold at others!).

My absolute favorite dish of the evening was the Gnocchi Sorrentina, though I do have to say I had one realization in the course of the evening–Italian food is not best for a first date.  Feeding your date or even taking a bite yourself and having so much cheese stringing across the table probably isn’t sexy.  But if you’re into reenacting Lady and the Tramp, then this is the place for you!

Other dishes we tried included the Meat-lovers Pizza (the thin crust cooked to perfection, but the pizza still too greasy and heavy for it), the Amatriciana (a spicy dish that didn’t leave me panting; plus the bacon helped balance the flavors), Pesto alla Genovese (essentially a basil pesto pasta that tasted fresh but was too plain), Funghi Trifolati (do you like mushrooms? Do you like mushrooms but wish they were fancier so you forget that they’re literally fungus picked from the dirt in some dark, creepy woods? This dish is for you), and Manicotti Bolognese (a basic rolled pasta with meat sauce that my date liked the best; unsurprisingly. It wasn’t fussy and was perfect in appearance and taste).

Overall, apart from the lighting, I thoroughly enjoyed Bella Luna Uptown, though I am not sure if I would visit again, as nothing struck me as unique.  However, perhaps, in a year from now, my date and I will visit again for an anniversary?  In a year–the moon will wax and wane, will grow and diminish–I will eat a lot of pasta in a year.  

Two side dishes before I go–

First, there was a dish called a Salad Pizza on the menu, which at first I was tempted to try simply due to its oxymoronic name (let’s take the healthiest dish and pair it with one of the fattiest, greasiest dishes ever; that will trick them!).  However, it had a bright green word next that immediately turned me off: VEGAN.  I shudder even now as I recall.

Second, be sure to visit the bathroom.  My date and I maybe even liked it more than the restaurant’s interior.*

Bella Luna Uptown Review:

Decor: 🍷 🍷 (Why so dark? What are you hiding? Where’s the moon light?)

Price: 🍷 🍷 🍷 (Why is homemade pasta so expensive?  Also, when I’m hungry an hour later, I feel like I’ve flushed my money down the toilet)

Service: 🍷 🍷 🍷 🍷 (Tip your waiters and waitresses, kids)

Food: 🍷 🍷 🍷 🍷 (Why is homemade pasta so delicious? The carbs, give me the carbs)

Name: 🍷 🍷 🍷 🍷 🍷 (“When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie,” that’s beautiful)

*Please note my date and I were not in the bathroom due to any sickness caused by the food at Bella Luna Uptown.